Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
