I have demons in me.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
