Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
