I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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