...so i touched it.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
