I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize