im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize