you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
