we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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