Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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