Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
