So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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