the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
