:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
