Kiss
Puke
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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