Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
