Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
