What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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