# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
