How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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