I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i've created a new STD.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
