i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize