Just mADE A PArabola og urine
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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