He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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