i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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