So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
