there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
