Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
