I wanna passion pit in your ass
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
