sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
