I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
