im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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