I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
