i just wanna soil my oats bro
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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