just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
