I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
