Where is the hickey?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
