he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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