somebody snuck up and got me drunk
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
