On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
