You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
