I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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