i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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