Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
