My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
