Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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