i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
