Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
