Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The Olympian is in my bed
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