there was a trapeze. enough said
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize