Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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