So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
