Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
