Farmville is her only friend.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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