what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
