What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
