im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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